


Jilted and Scorned

by Kalta79



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: F/M, Nonsense, Parody, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 15:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11107863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalta79/pseuds/Kalta79
Summary: Cloud and Elena are not happy to find out about Tifa and Reno's relationship, takes place six months after the end of Trading Favors





	1. Chapter 1

Marlene woke up and went out into the hallway, about to head to the kitchen when she heard noises coming from Aunt Tifa’s room. Walking to her door, she knocked on it when she found it was locked.

“Aunt Tifa, are you okay?” Marlene called out, and the noises suddenly stopped.

“I’m fine, Marlene. Your breakfast is in the fridge, please go eat it, your Uncle Cloud will be by soon to take you on a picnic.” Tifa’s voice sounded funny to Marlene, like she was having trouble talking.

“You aren’t sick, are you, Aunt Tifa?”

“I’m fine.” Tifa repeated. “Please go eat your breakfast.”

After Marlene left, Tifa let out a relieved sigh. “That was close.” Then she moaned as Reno started up again.

Marlene was eating her breakfast when Cloud walked in.

“Where’s Tifa?” he asked.

“In her room. I don’t think she’s feeling good. She sounded funny when she told me to eat my breakfast.” Marlene replied.

“Oh. Well then I’ll go check on her, you stay here and finish eating.” Cloud headed to Tifa’s bedroom where he heard noises as well. Knocking only resulted in Tifa yelling at him to go away.

Worried, he unsheathed his Buster Sword and chopped the doorknob off, opening the door to see Reno on top of Tifa in her bed as they were both enjoying an intense mutual climax. Becoming aware of an audience, Tifa was shocked to see Cloud there and pulled her sheet around her as a covering, while Reno just shrugged and got off her onto his side of the bed. When Tifa heard Marlene coming down the hall she pushed Reno down onto the floor to hide him while apologizing for it. His clothes were on the floor next to him, so he just started to get dressed.

“Aunt Tifa, are you okay now?” Marlene asked, running over to her.

“I’m more than fine now, or at least I was.” Tifa replied, glaring at Cloud, who was still standing there in shock.

Reno’s head popped up from the other side of the bed as he stood up fully dressed.

“Uncle Reno!” Marlene exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

“I um…I was giving your Aunt Tifa her medicine to make her better. And I gotta go to work now.” Reno hurried out the door as Tifa now glared after him.

***

Not sure what else to do, Cloud left and took Marlene for the promised picnic.

“Why did you call that man Uncle Reno?” he asked Marlene as they ate their picnic food.

“That’s what Aunt Tifa said to call him.” Marlene said as she ate a piece of fried chicken.

“How long have you known him?”

“Ever since I started living with you two. Aunt Tifa sometimes invites him over for breakfast. I think she does it cause she misses you always being gone on your long trips. He‘s funny.”

“I bet he is.” Cloud sulked.

***

When Cloud dropped Marlene off back at 7th Heaven, he didn’t find Tifa anywhere to talk to her about Reno, so he just waited in her office. He wasn’t sure how long he had been there when suddenly the door burst open.

“Where is that little tramp?!” a furious Elena demanded of Cloud.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Elena get drunk and commiserate

“If you’re referring to Tifa, she’s not here right now.” Cloud said.

“Well, she’ll have to come back here eventually, I’ll wait here and settle my score with her.” Elena stated.

After a few minutes of stomping back and forth, muttering angrily to herself, she stopped and looked at Cloud. “Where’s the best alcohol in this place?”

“I’m not sure which is the best, I don’t drink, but I’ll show you where the most expensive stuff is.”

When Cloud showed her, she grabbed two bottles and two glasses, pouring a little from each bottle into each glass, and handed one to Cloud.

“I told you, I don’t drink.” Cloud said.

“DRINK IT!” Elena angrily yelled at him.

Cloud blanched and took a drink, making a face as he tasted the alcohol.

***

"You've never had sex?" Elena was so surprised that she didn't slur her words.

"I want to wait til I'm married, but Tifa never asked me. I thought she would eventually, but I guess she didn‘t want me after all." Cloud replied glumly.

"What in the **hell** is wrong with you? Maybe she didn't want to be the one doing all the work. That's what I miss most about Reno, he was capable of great sex blindfolded with his hands tied behind his back." Elena smiled at the memory. "He never had to try, and neither did I."

“Why does everyone think Reno is so great? Even Marlene likes him.” Cloud pouted, pouring himself another drink.

“Well if you had been more of a man, Tifa wouldn’t have stolen Reno from me. You owe me.” Elena leaned over and kissed Cloud and started to undress him.

“What do you think you’re doing? I told you I’m waiting til I’m married.” Cloud pushed her hands away.

“Fine!” Elena grabbed his hand and dragged him out the door into her car. Shoving him into the passenger seat, she got in the driver’s seat, and drove in a wobbly line, stopping in front of a building, and grabbed Cloud out, dragging him inside.

Cloud wasn’t sure what was going on, Elena went to a window and said something, then demanded Cloud’s I.D., taking hers out as well, handing them and some money to the clerk, who then handed her back a form a few moments later. Elena signed it, then handed it to Cloud for him to sign as well.

“What is this?” he asked.

“Sign it!” Elena glared daggers at him.

“Okay.” Cloud meekly took the pen and signed the paper.

Elena handed the paper back to the clerk, and in a few moments, she handed a different paper back to Elena, who dragged Cloud back to her car, and drove to her house, dragging Cloud inside. Once the door was closed, Elena took her clothes off, then started undressing him again.

“We’re now legally married, you don’t have an excuse now!” Elena informed him.

“No, this isn’t how I wanted my first time to be…please be gentle…ow…that’s not gentle, please stop.”

“Shut up and take it like a man!” Elena snapped at him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big finale that explains what happens to Reno/Tifa and Cloud/Elena

Elena drove back to her house after work, looking forward to dinner. Leaving the car into the garage, she went inside. As she expected, Cloud was by the door with her favorite cocktail. She sipped it happily, then frowned as she realized he had an apron on.

“What did I tell you? You’re not allowed to wear anything but boxer shorts in the house unless company is coming over!” Elena snapped at him.

“I didn’t want to burn myself making dinner.” Cloud explained.

“It would be a shame to mar that body.” Elena agreed, pinching his ass. “When’s dinner?”

“It’ll be ready in half an hour.”

“Then I have time to shower and change.” Elena handed her now empty cocktail glass back to Cloud and went upstairs.

Once she was in the shower with the warm water sluicing over her body, she thought how overall she was glad that Cloud didn’t believe in divorce. She had planned on only being married for a night of raunchy sex, but Cloud wasn’t up for that, so she was stuck with him. But he was a damned good housekeeper and cook. It was just in the bedroom that she had to do everything. As they sat down for dinner, Elena was wearing her favorite lounging pajamas, and Cloud was relieved. That meant she wasn’t going to want sex tonight. 

He was trying to be the best husband he could be, but when it came to sex, he was out of his element. He knew how to make the perfect pot roast or how to get wine stains out of the carpet, but pleasing his wife was beyond him. He had used some of his severance pay from Tifa when he quit their delivery business after his marriage to buy some instructional books and DVDs on sex so Elena wouldn’t find out. She kept careful reins on the household finances, and always compared his shopping lists with the receipts, to make sure he wasn’t milking her.

***

Reno and Tifa were enjoying having the place to themselves. Barret had taken Marlene for a weekend visit, so they didn‘t have to be discreet.

“You’re not upset that Cloud and Elena got married, are you?” Reno asked her as he played with her hair.

“I’m glad they’re not alone.” Tifa replied, kissing him as she ran her hands over him.

Reno obliged her unspoken request to make her body sing, and as they lay sated on her bed, she returned his question.

“Does it bother _you_ that they’re married?” she asked Reno.

“Nope, I’m not the marrying kind.” he replied.

“I noticed.” Tifa said with a smile as she traced his tattoos with her finger.

“You don’t mind?”

“Nope, I already give you breakfast, if we were married, I’d have to make you lunch and dinner as well, and that’s pushing it.” she teased him.

***

After the weekend was over and Reno returned to work, he mulled over that conversation. Tifa had surprised him, when she had said she didn’t want to marry him. She was the first woman he had been involved with who never made any demands on him. She just seemed to accept him as he was, and let him come to her when he was ready, and let him leave just as easily. Maybe she had gotten used to that with Cloud. It irked him that maybe she didn’t see him as much different than Cloud.

The next time they had a weekend together, he decided to try something. “With Cloud gone, don’t you think it would be a good idea to have a man around here?” he asked her as she lay contented beneath him.

“For what?” she asked back.

“For…security, or um…” Reno faltered as he realized she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

“If you want, you can keep some of your stuff here, but don’t give up the lease on your apartment. I told you, I’m not making you lunch or dinner.” Tifa said.

When she fell asleep, Reno just held her, realizing what had been bothering him is that she was his perfect woman who just let him be himself. He wouldn’t give up the lease on his apartment anyway, he had hidden sex toys and porno DVDs all over it to the point where he didn’t know where they all were.

***

Cloud’s instructional sex material was only partially successful, he found that the best way to protect himself from Elena was to use a vibrator on her and make her think it was him doing it. He started making a stockpile of them hidden in the kitchen so she wouldn’t find out. Especially since once she thought he got better at sex, she wanted it more. He had pleaded with Rufus and Tseng to occasionally give her longer away missions, so he could have enough free time to start his garden landscaping project.


End file.
